You Don’t Have To Be Perfect All the Time to Have a Good Relationship

progressI talk a lot about what you should and shouldn’t do in a relationship. These “rules” definitely work and should be used whenever possible.  But even I (self-proclaimed rule-maker extraordinaire) don’t always follow the rules because… well no one is perfect. There are times when you will fight and scream because there is this one thing that has (despite being on your best behavior) bubbled up.  This one thing he does that makes you just want to lose it.

It’s normal.

And while the best behaved me will tell you to keep your cool and use your actions not your words, if you slip up once in a while that is not a bad thing and may actually work to your advantage, as long as it’s once in a while. This can be referred to as the “pick your battles approach” and should only be used when you really cannot take it anymore.  By having a good old fashion throw down once in a blue moon you will be able to put emphasis on the one thing that is a real non-negotiable.  I will let you decide what that is for you (hint. It’s not that he won’t make the bed in the morning).

You see men do not respond to what they call “nagging” and what we call “friendly reminders”. Even though we think we are helping to nudge them along that is the exact thing that makes them dig in their heels.  If you keep your cool about it and explain your issue once or twice, 6 months pass, you haven’t brought it up, and he is still digging in his heels, you have my absolute blessing to let him have it. After all I don’t wish you to be a rug he can walk all over either. By picking your battles (by the way this means waiting longer than you think .. and then a little while longer… to it bring up {again}) you will be able to put emphasis on what is important to you and then he can decipher what issues are more serious than others.

It’s like the little boy (or girl in this case) who cried wolf.  If you are always complaining and kicking and screaming with no follow up actions he won’t take you seriously.  If you are always cool and collected and then one time you just let him have it, he will actually pay attention.

Have a lovely weekend Princesses.

Ash.

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