Last week on the “Men tell all” episode of the Bachelorette they had a feature called “The bad boys of the Bachelorette”. Two of the men under fire were James and Ben. I watched in awe as these men were basically chastised for their actions on the show. I watched as the women in the audience shook their heads in disgust and booed these guys who apparently “weren’t there for the right reasons”.
As a recap, Ben is a single dad who was constantly attacked by the other men on the show because he rubbed them the wrong way. They spewed evil comments at him about being a terrible father, lying about his faith, and being a fame whore. Would you talk about your kid with a bunch of jerks who were saying nasty things about you? Meanwhile, even the previous Bachelorettes who spoke with Desiree before the episode said that they weren’t sure exactly what he did wrong. Personally I didn’t see him do anything they accused him of. I sum it up to jealousy that he didn’t “respect” the other guys and wait his turn for time with Desiree. Who cares?
James though is the one who really had it rough. He was caught talking to Mikey about what would happen if Desiree didn’t pick him and made comments about potentially being the next Bachelor if he got rejected in the end. This is apparently a criminal offense in the Bachelorette world. The men on the show attacked him about “not being there for the right reasons” and Desiree ended up kicking him off the show.
The response from the women in the audience was the most interesting to me. The way the media portrays these “bad guys” and encourages the audience to shun them from society is the exact reason why women have such skewed realities about what to accept in a relationship.
James really likes this girl, thinks things are going well, then sees her kissing basically every other guy on the show. Is it a wonder he is insecure and is trying to make himself feel better? This whole every guy needs to only think about the Bachelorette or he is a pig is really messed up. Let’s face it the odds were against him, he became insecure about how she felt about him, and tried to look at the positive, or the silver lining if you will.
I like Desiree but she is making out with every guy on the show and is basically saying she loves all of them and then James is accused of not being true. The same reasoning could be used on her, that she must not be there for the right reasons, if she is falling in love with all the guys’ not just one.
The real villains here are all the other guys who are hiding behind their good guy persona and pretending they are only there to be in love with a girl in which up until the show they never met. Those are the ones I would be scared to enter a relationship with. Every one of these guys could be online dating in private (not in front of America) if they were really ONLY interested in “finding the one”. Every single person that goes on that show knows they will probably become semi-famous at least for 15 minutes and that is definitely a motivator.
In my opinion James and Mikey are some of the realest men on the show. They owned up and defended what they said and I agree. To pretend like there is no reality outside this show where one girl dates over 20 guys is crazy talk. If she picked him awesome, if she picked someone else well then he wasn’t going to crawl into a hole and die; that’s healthy confidence.
Us ladies need to let go of this whole “the one will only think of me all day every day for the rest of his life” have you ever checked out a cute guys butt while you were in a relationship? Exactly.
If James and her were meant to be together he would’ve just been with her and never been the Bachelor or went off on the boat with Mikey and some hot rich women. Because he thought for a second she might fall for someone else and he would still go on with his life, he will forever been seen as the “Bad Boy” of the Bachelorette.